Forwards

for-ward

–noun
Sports
1. a player stationed in advance of others on a team.

Banter definition: Shoot. On. Sight.
 

No.: 9
Name: Andrew Moreland
AKA: Hore
Age: 24
Pos: Forward
Apps: 24
Goals: 4

Good when he cares, shit when he doesn’t. Hore played every game until February in Banter’s first season, but injuries and stuttered come-backs haven’t helped him and he hasn’t played competitively since October 2008. When involved, he’ll hold the ball up, muscle defenders out of the way and play others into the game. His foul mouth can get him into bother sometimes - he uses swear words that aren’t even swear words yet.

No.: 10
Name: Justin Said
AKA: Euro Boy
Age: 22
Pos: Winger/Forward
Apps: 27
Goals: 13

The self proclaimed golden boy and fan favourite. Has he ever told you that he played every single game in Banter’s first season? I bet he forgot the part about missing at least 10 easy chances a game, though. Nobody has more assists than Euro, his pace and creativity make him at times unplayable. And due to his all round personality, not playing is exactly what he’ll be doing once he returns from Guernsey.

No.: 11
Name: Tommy Warburton
AKA: Wommy
Age: 24
Pos: Winger/Forward
Apps: 33
Goals: 23

Last season’s top goalscorer will be looking for similar accolades this term having won player’s and manager’s player of the season awards, too. Quick, tricky, a hard worker and worryingly powerful for someone of his size, Wommy will cause any defence problems. His greatest flaws appear to be penalties and clowns. Yes, he’s scared of clowns. The jury is still out on whether he can head a ball or not, too. Oh, and he’s rubbish in goal. Probably.

No.: 12
Name: Jon Stewart
AKA: J.Dot
Age: 27
Pos: Forward/Midfielder
Apps: 5
Goals: 2

A late joiner in the 2008/09 season, Jon made a terrific impact playing up front and was an integral part of some big wins against Sovereign and Santos. Like his younger brother, he’s not afraid to voice his frustration and he’s also been heard making more sound effects than successful passes in some games.

No.: 15
Name: Conor Shannon
AKA: Shan
Age: 30
Pos: Midfield/Forward
Apps: 21
Goals: 4

Shannon’s most admirable quality is probably his ability to dream. Every August he tells himself he’ll play every week. By the following April he’s never mustered up more than about 12 games. But he knows where the goal is and likes popping up in the right areas so expect at least some of his Spurs-inspired optimism to come good.

No.: 44
Name: Chris Brown
AKA: Brownie
Age: 23
Pos: Forward
Apps: 0
Goals: 0

An eye for goal and a cracking left foot, his comparisons with Dimitar Berbatov are not because of a lethargic attitude when his team hasn’t got the ball, but then they’re not because he’s got long hair and is Bulgarian either, so in actual fact it probably is the first one. Another newbie and another Soprano, Brownie has brought in something fresh and that's a proper target man who can also finish. Watch out for his Anelka sulks, though.