Guestbook

I am a massive banter FC fan and found the 10-1 defeat humiliating however after reading Adkins match report, it made me cherish it and almost enjoy the tragedy.
No one does misery like him. I wish he was around during the black plague. As i'm sure he would have some witty references for what i've heard was a very bleak time.

you aswell? dot and dave won't be very pleased with us!

just been down the docs, i caught worms off the dog again. any advice?

She doesn't do his type.

Yeah bom, why don't u bang me mum? i think she's always liked you?!

Done the chicken. Just banged the sofa. Anyone got anything else i can touch?

Im so horny i might just bang a chicken

THIS IS GETTING OUT OF HAND NOW. ALL I NEED IS SOME SHINES AND TO LISTEN TO SOUNDS BUT NO FITTIES ARE PUTTING OUT AT THE MOMENT AND THE MATHS TEACHER HAS BANNED MY SOUNDS. WHY DONT SHE WANNA LISTEN TO JA RULE WHILST TEACHING. MAYBE SHE DOES AND SECRETLY SHE JUST WANNA GIVE PWA SHINES. IF YOU DONT KNOW WHERE YOUR GIRL IS, SHE PROBABLY BE WITH ME IN MY CAR WITH MY SOUNDS GIVING SHINES.

Wanted: big hunky man to spunken all over my waps and in my stinky puss.

must like ATM and spooning in the morning.

I SAID, anyone wanna get on my Johnson?

Anyone wanna get on my johnson?

Hi,

A few things i'd like to see next season.

1) Martin in a motivational coach role

Thats only one thing.

A few concerns for next season.

1) Manny leaving meaning a greater likelihood of parin playing more games. Banter are dangerously shit when he plays. His distribution from the back is looser than Cling's arse hole.

Again, that is only one thing.

I hope training goes well and I look forward to seeing you all play again soon.

Hi Banter,

I really enjoyed season 2010/2011 ( Although it was very predictable with you finishing mid-table & not winning anything again) and i was just wondering if you were going to do another one next season.
I really hope you do.

Where all da bitches at? Mans is hungry for woman and me aint banged nuffin in a week.

Bare respect.

To whom it may concern.
This is the first time i have felt compelled to write as i am usually a Avid fan of reading up on Banterfc.com, however i feel it is my duty to let you know that i have felt that their has been a slip in quality in recent times. When I first started reading Banterfc.com it was full of inspiring pieces about player performances. Nowadays its full of trash such as "Banter's best lover" and is very tabloid.
I am sorry that my first letter is a negative one, but i feel that it's a shame you have to lower yourself to that standard, honestly what next " page 3" or " circle of shame" when a banter player has sweaty armpits.

Thank you for your time

Concerned reader

Yo Homies

Its ya boy PWA, hittin u up from across the pond.
Man saw bear ting over here, too many lil shorty's to shout about.
I was chillin out maxin, relaxing all cool, shooting sum B-Ball outside of the school, when a couple of guys, well i thought were up to no good, but they actually said "are you a proffessional?" im not a proffessional, but i should be, im the indian michael jordan!
I thought about staying here and giving the NBA a go, however i need to catch up on the X Factor.
c u boys soon.

safe yeah?

PWA

Lastest from Trenham Drive,

I can exclusively report that i caught up with part-time Banter player Bushy this afternoon and he told me of the dismay he and the rest of the team after the rumours surrounding Edd Adkins. He believes that if Adkins does not believe in the current crop of players then he should leave as he is hurting the club.
I also caught up with chairman Andrew Moreland who said he wasn't bothered, i couldnt get any more information from him as he was too busy trying to finger my anus.

Edd Adkins in come and get me plea

It has been reported that Edd Adkins will not be signing another contract with banter Central.
After the breakdown in communication in the past week with Edd revealing he wasn't suffering from a knee injury contradicting his managers words. A Sunsource has revealed that Cling and Edd haven't spoken for months.
It is believed that Adkins is worried about the calibire of the current squad and seeked insurance from the chairman Andrew Moreland that they will be attracting some big name players, but Hore could not provide that.
A number of clubs are interested in buying Adkins with Kurdish or Woodmansterne being the two front runners.
Crisis meetings are being set up at Trenham Drive HQ as we speak as Banter Central try and resolve the situation.

Regardless of the welcome page on the website, Banter Central will not be pursuing Wayne Rooney.
He is still an Manchester United player, it would be disrespectful of us to talk about another teams player.

Also we have Wommy and Browners upfront, he won't get in before either of them!!!

well maybe Browners.......

Jay,
I am working on the video at the moment; it'll be up very shortly. Though our second goal and your fourth were unfortunately not captured (though that's probably more of a relief for a couple of our boys).
Good luck,
Cling

Hi lads,

Selsdon's number 8 in peace, you may remember me from sundays game as the all action midfielder strutting my stuff in the middle of the park at purley way. I've visited your webpage in regards to trying to obtain some video evidence of my supremacy on the pitch. So with reference to my statement i am here to enquire whether or not the highlights of the tightly contested face off between our two great sides will be uploaded to your wonderful webpage.

Kind Regards
Your friendly neighbourhood number 8
Selsdon Juniors one and only Jay Allen.

hi banter players

I can't help but notice that you seem to be having some trouble taking penalties, me and stuie are available for pentaly taking coaching, if interested please get in touch,

WHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I TRAVAL!!!!!!

I play with my waps whilst licking out becks

She got little pink nipps. I love bittty.

i play with her waps all the time. she's buff

I'd love to play with her waps

i just knocked one out after i walked in on my sister in the shower

i'll lick you out boy

do u want it in your mouth?

What the fuck is your problem mustard? If you ever question any of my posts again I'll 69 your mum on top of your civic

this has got out of hand

J'mappelle PWA, J'mappelle PWA, J'adore hand jobs et suckin of hore.
J'mappelle PWA, J'mappelle PWA, Jadore KFC and suckin of hore.

Me nom ist Poisson. J'adore cream pies, atm, bukkaki et BBW.

DOG LIK? WHAT DA FUK IS DAT MAN? I ONLY LIKE PUSSY LIK

Browns you should get Becks & Stella to work for you, Becks has been cutting my hair for years and Stella still goes round Jims to style his hair for him everyday. they have a great way of getting it to hold in place by using dog lick.

i'd like to be a stylist for you brownie. ive already got the mincey walk, i just need to get some hair skills as i dont have any of my own.

Hiya its Browns ere

i love my hair so much im thinking of opening up my own salon.

if i do this i will need some new sylists to cut my hair. any volunteers?

what about u parin? if u like u can take some of the cuttings and fill your bald patch.

My thoughts for today...

Nothing dry about me, I'm a sopping loose old horse.

What I'm going so say to Wilkes next time I see him...
I might grope you up mate. Sometimes i wish you were a girl.

Question for the pub.....
If you caught me bumming a dog, what would you do?

Gonna start on a bird i reckon

Ma Pussy stink of fish, Ma pussy dry as rice,
Every other Tuesday ma pussy looking Nice.
Ma pooper loose and stinking, ma pooper make me cash,
Take me to da doctors, ma titties got a rash.

Me name POISSON, Me name POISSON, OOOOOOOOOOooooo POISSON ROUGE

Want some?

I think the manager would kill for an O.G given his current scoring record.

OG on the match report from the Crown game = BULLSHIT!!!

Wip ive just sent you a text with a vets number i had the same problem with becks

Hello does anyone have the number for a vet? stella is using too much teeth when he sucks me off, it hurts

Who want a piece a pwa? I SAAAAAAAAAAAAY, WHO WANT A PIECE A PWA?

One two, two to da tree,
you boys aint never come across a pussy ole like me.
I come from da streets, driving ma Polo,
always got a dutty ho, never riding solo.
Now let me tell you sutting and dis comes for free,
I'll suck off any stray dog dat comes close to me.

I'll stalk you on facebook and dat ain't no joke,
don't phone da police if I give you a poke.
Im just a simple fassy whipe without much of a brain,
shoulda locked da door when wanking on da train.

Me name Poisson, me name possion. If you know anyone dat will suk me off then tell em it aint true about da herpies.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo POISSON ROUGE.

I just did a blow off for 20seconds, I only stopped because Luke was going to insert me and becks didn't like the smell

Bom at #3 in CMSFL Ladder? Great April Fools.

I've just had a late lunch cos I've been out looking for stray dogs again. Two nights ago my mummy and daddy caught me on my laptop touching myself to a video about battersea dogs home. They are sending me to stary dogs anon to sort my life out.

wip, do you mind giving me some privacy, im trying to push back onto becks

hore, your pathetic. why don't you come round and watch me play with stella and becks.

to number 8 can u giv me ur first name so I can find u on facebook

i looked up cunt but i couldnt find nothin

Wont be about this week gaffer, things got a bit heated between me and becks last night and I got caught worms off her.

Wont be about this week gaffer, things got a bit heated between me and becks last night and I got caught worms off her.

Jim has been training me to catch the ball from heights. It's the basic training method used with dogs like Stella and Becks with a reward being given for good behaviour. in this instance, Jim s not giving a dog a bisuit for sitting when told, instead he gives my helmet a kiss if I make a catch.

So far I've still dropped every ball so I just dip my bell end in Pedigree chum and lay it in Becks food bowl.

I sucked Browny off in Vegas.

I had another wank in the cab on the way home. And also in the toilets during the Woodmansterne game.

I had a wank in the toilet on the way back from vegas.

Yo! Whn is pooptard gona be bak, he used 2 tickle me in the shwer

safe

gotta bounce

Isn't it about time your asian full back came out the closet?

Seriously, who does he think he is fooling?

Hi guys! Seen a few of your results and noticed your missing me. Maybe kick Wilkesy out and I might consider coming back.

I just jizzed all over a photo of my own sister. The elder one.

Is there any interest in seeing me and Jim in the bath together?

If so, come round at half 8 tonight.

Yesterday I had a wank in Richards kitchen whilst you were all playing Goldeneye. I was thinking of Martin in a minkini and just couldn't contain myself any longer.

I Love the box.

your captain needs a haircut.

i'm so horny, all i want is a big goalkeeper to take care of me.
can anyone hook me up with anyone?
i prefer them to not like bouncers and be harder than scott halls but im not fussy if he's not.
x LOLZ.

Hi,

Can someone tell me why i've just woken up with the smell of shit underneath my fingernails?

Also, did anyone pick up my tampax on sunday? I left em in the changing room. Jumbo size.

If anyone wants to come round and play with my vajin then that is fine. It stinks. But you prob gueseed that.

Anyone got the cure for having a smelly Dennis?

Let me know.

Woof

hi, thanks for letting me play for banter, i really enjoy playing 70 minutes every sunday.
sometimes i wish i could make a full 90 minutes but im to tired after going mental doing the box at training.

I wish I would stop skipping around in silly hats.

once i thought i would lick cat poo to see what it tastes like.
i liked it alot but my friends told me its wrong and i have to stop.
i have continued doing it , but in my own home and not around others.
is this still wrong??

I'll fight anyone who looks at me.

I still wear nappies

before a game i like to put various bits of lego up my bum, it gives me a great thrill, i think we should all do it.

I fist my anus twice daily, once in the morning before I wake up and once at night before I go to sleep.

fack. i hurt my thigh again throwing myself into the wall while having a wank in the disabled toilet at work

Writing all the way from vancouver with a nice cold beer. Plugs look different over here, any ideas how I turn them on??

Hi,

I'm soft as shite. Thats all.

Thanks for the site and the updates this season, although primarily a football club the writing has been superb, making me chuckle frequently. Keep up the good work and best of luck with the upcomign season.

Kenny

*P.S I shower regularly. Bi-weekly infact

I just did a poop in my pants

Check this pick out

U get me?

How are my baby boys?

Was it me?

Hi, I'm the Poop Monster and its time for a game of Guess who. I will give you the clues and you have to tell me which squad member I am discribing.

- This player once done a poop in his knickers and was arrested for polluting and anti-social behaviour.

- The player in question used to frequent the Hamsey Green Co-op on regular occasions up until he was barred from the store. Rumour has it he done a soil in the middle of aisle 3 and then did a sprinting Klinsmann dive through the aforementioned mess.

- Final clue. The squad member in question once had a holiday romance with with a disease ridden Cactus. He named it Spike and caught herpes after a night of passion with the prickly plant. A nasty break up left the cactus with a smear of poop across it as the BCFC player wiped himself all over the defenseless water retainer. An attack the player was later arrested for.

Can you guess who?

Cheers for uploading that Portland video. You people are v organised. Keep up the good Banter and hope you give Sovereign a good thrashing.

unlucky