Quotes Of The Week 08/09

Sunday 15th March 2009

"I think he fell over his own temper."

- Ben Doc, not for the first time dishes out the quick wit in answer to why Phoenix's centre-forward was laying face down in the turf.

Sunday 8th March 2009

"Oh fucking hell, he'd better not score from this, he's so shit."

Phil Hughes releases his inner monologue as Dr Evil from Madras line up a free-kick in the last minute, with the scores level at 3-3.

Sunday 1st March 2009

"Is the first booking for the foul and the second for dissent?"

- Adkins asks the referee the question when giving the Oakfield full-back a talking to. No yellow card was ever shown.

Sunday 22nd February 2009

"You should just push them, that'd be a start mate."

- Ben Doc's tongue in cheek response to a Sanderstead player being penalised for pushing and asking what he was supposed to do, when double marked, in that situation.

Sunday 18th January 2009

"I got called Fat Pasty Cunt, twice."

- Chris Davis, about his experience of the Sovereign game. To be fair, 10/10 to the opposition for observation on that one.
I don't see the problem.

Sunday 11th January 2009

"Alright Euro, it's Dave on Cling's phone... Game's kicked off so get a riggle on mate."

- Chris Pasty's voicemail message to Euro. At no point did he explain that he needed to hurry
because the team had started with 10 men. Fairly key, I'd say.

Sunday 21st December 2008

"He's a physio, so I think he knows when he's hurt."

- Chris Pasty tries to reason with the unreasonable when Tino was down against Sovereign.
For everyone who isn't a physio, it's impossible to know if you're really hurt or not.

Sunday 7th December 2008

"Tell you what, if Euro was as good as me, this would be one hell of a partnership..."

- Adkins never has been afraid to tell you how good he thinks he is.

"I'll curse who I fuckin' want. I'll curse you, I'll curse you, I'll curse you... (points to Pasty, Banter's linesman) And I'll curse you."

- A very frustrated Carlton United player was obviously not happy with Tino's instruction to stop cursing.

"You lot just fink I'm some dick head from Croydon. Well I'm not, and I'll stab you all."

- That same Carlton United player. It works on so many levels that he'd never begin to understand.

"Fuck off you cunt! You try marking him!"

- A Carlton defender, in response to our mate from above on the fact that Euro should be tackled.

Sunday 30th November 2008

Cling: "Whilst we're here, is there anyone not about next week for any reason?"
Boma: "Is it gonna be like this?"

- After terrential rain and temperatures of -30, Parin 'Boma Fantastic' Patel took his question about next week rather seriously.

Sunday 2nd November 2008

Davis: "You off on a run to Greenwich and back today, Dean?"
Hore: "Greenwich, Connecticut?"

- It got a timid reception from those who didn't understand it, but the idea that Dean runs to America and back on a Sunday afternoon sat well with me at least.

Sunday 26th October 2008

"If you're in acres, you know you've gone too far."

- Shannon had trouble understanding the offside law, Jonny Gill helped him out.

Sunday 5th October 2008

"Yeah! That's just how I do it braaaaav..."

- Andy 'Tino' Sheridan's impression of the Milburn Reserves player from last season in a cockney, ruder than rude accent. If you haven't heard it, request it. It's genius.

Sunday 28th September 2008

"I've just been Wuker'd."

- Ben Doc coins a new phrase after being clattered by his goalkeeper from a corner.

Thursday 25th September 2008

"Bare eleven? How is that even possible?"

- Wommy shows his disbelief about Sunday's numbers, meaning eleven others would have to be unavailable.