Ron's Blog

Banter Central FC’s famous Croydon Municipal Sunday Football League Ladder

Robert Stewart of Fintanshire draws up his list of who he believes sits where in the pecking order when Banter’s team is picked. It might be his view through the manager’s eyes, but is he right? Is he even close? Who are Banter’s favourites? And who are the FavouritesTM ? That’s a bit like asking who the best players are against the best playa’s.

[Last week's positions in brackets]

Episode 2:

After a rained off game and 2 mixed performances, Banter Central FC’s famous Croydon Municipal Sunday League Football League Ladder has been updated. Check it out below.

1. Chris Mann (1)
Much like everyone, a stuttering performance against Portland in which he never really had command. However, an excellent performance, capped by a goal, against Central Ward, sees Chris just about hold on to top spot this week from his friend and all round nice guy…

2. Chris Brown (3)
Some excellent finishing against Central Ward saw Chris grab three goals. On the downside, ‘Le Sulk’ has lived up to his billing over the last few weeks. Had he stayed on for longer against Central Ward, he would have been challenging Vidic for top spot. He was so angry when we conceded the second and third, I quickly became depressed and had to move away.

3. Phil Hughes (2)
If Hughes could finish, he would comfortably be at the top. Sadly, a missed chance when we were 3-1 up against Central Ward, coupled with a quiet performance against Portland, see Phil slip back slightly.

4. Andrew Sheridan (5)
Despite missing the Central Ward game, ‘Tino’ usurps Tommy in 4th place. He was perhaps the only player to come out of the Portland game with any credit, given the man of the match vote for his efforts. Our mini-crisis against Central Ward was only good for the absent Tino.

5. Edd Adkins (6)
A 35 yard goal followed by my favourite dance, and Adkins climbs the ladder by a place. His ability to hold vomit via a whole pack of chewing gum was also a deciding factor.

6. Tommy Warburton (4)
He hasn’t underperformed in the last 2 games, so falling two places is strange. He looked very dangerous against Central Ward, always busy looking to create chances and make them for himself. However Camden’s finest may be frustrated not to add some more goals to his all action game.

7. Richard Clark (9)
His best game of the season so far against Central Ward sees ‘Cling Bak’ jump two places to 7th, which is also his number. Selflessly gave Baird the chance to convert a penalty, despite not scoring since sometime before Jesus was born. Parin was giving good odds that he would have missed anyway.

8. Dan Wilkes (10)
Arguably our best performer over the last two games, he would have been higher had others above him not performed against Central Ward. Daniel completed his first full game against Central Ward despite being asked by Richie to leave the pitch after 119 minutes.

9. Tom Ridley (7)
Young Tom has been a lot more vocal recently. Perhaps he should now just be called the assassin? Mr Ridley is very talented, and continues to deliver dangerous crosses from the right. Somehow he falls 2 places despite playing almost every minute of every game. Blame Wilkes.

10. Dave Baird (9)
Dave brings a European flavour to Banters’ game after taking a tumble against Central Ward. Converted the penalty nicely but hasn’t done enough to climb the ladder just yet, apart from being an excellent linesman and trying to get rid of the flag at every opportunity.

11. Parin Patel (14)
‘Maraboma’ is a big mover this week thanks to his ‘hand of Bom’ goal in the closing stages against Central Ward. Quite what he was doing that high up the pitch I’m not sure, but I enjoyed it. He missed the game against Portland, but had an excellent game against Central Ward, forgetting the last 10 minutes of normal time of course, which every member of that back line will want to forget.

12. Luke Manhire (11)
If I had my way he would be bottom of this list after some of his off field shenanigans in recent weeks. As it is, despite conceding some goals he will be unhappy with, he has made some good saves for us recently. Luke arguably kept the score line down against Portland, certainly in the first half. He made another point blank save against Central Ward early on, but falls down the ladder courtesy of conceding a few soft goals.

13. James Manhire (12)
LD continues to amaze with his noises, but also his mixed performances. Struggled with illness against Portland and got dragged off after putting in a stint he will not want to remember. Upped his game against Central Ward and was part of a defence that looked fairly solid for well over an hour. He falls back for that performance against Portland though. Don’t do that again.

14. Jon Stewart (16)
Looked good in training according to a few, and looked dangerous when given a run out against Central Ward. Was unable to make an impact against Portland in the short time he was on the pitch, but should be happy with his recent efforts.

15. Ben Doherty (14)
Ben was unavailable against Central Ward, and matched the general performance level against Portland. Always a big miss vocally, in particular on Sunday; it was the quietest game of football I’ve ever seen.

16. Dean Yeoman (15)
A substitute in his last two encounters, and has been comfortable both times. Continued commitment and adaptability and I predict Dean will climb this ladder and become an important squad member as the season progresses.

17. Rob Stewart (18)
Dangerously near a comeback to the training pitch where I expect to pick up another injury. I move ahead of Bushy because I’ve not missed a game this season.

18. Alex Bush (17)
His absence remains a mystery. I expect he is preening his Movember moustache.

19. Connor Shannon (23)
‘Shannon’ is our biggest mover this week because I saw him on Friday and we had a nice chat.

21. Andrew Moreland (20)
Overtakes ‘hlz’ because he has a job and I can now see his e-mails telling me that he is unavailable for the weekend but he will try and make it to the game. He generally doesn’t make it because he can’t be bothered, but at least he feigns interest.

21. Andrew Hills (19)
Continues to imitate an invisible chef.

22. Jonny Gill (21)
Carries on his Canadian journey with ‘Christopher’ Davis.

23. Chris Davis (22)
I prefer Jonny’s skiing jacket, so Chris stays here.

24. Justin Said (24)
Attempted to make a big comeback, but his return was somehow ‘rained off’. Perhaps it’s a sign.

This list will evolve as the week's go by, so watch this space.

Older blogs from Ronnie:

Banter Ladder episode 1
Ron's Q&A